What happens when you visit a masturbation coach?

So, here is the scenario, you are a grown man who is sexually attracted to men, you end up hooking up with another dude and notice that he is masturbating oddly..... wait a second, maybe you are doing it wrong yourself?

One of the things I offer as a Somatic Sex Coach is masturbation coaching. Masturbation Coaching consists of exploration and conversation on how one masturbates; we discuss personal history about masturbation, how you learned it, how much or little do you engage in it, what feelings come up, etc.

We discuss anatomy, most men are unaware of the actual names of the parts of the penis or the landscape around it. It's important to know your body and you are never too old to learn!

I find when I ask men, "How do you masturbate?", I get the same response all the time, it's just my hand and either a smart phone or computer in front of me. There is no focus on breath, no movement, not even many sounds or noise coming from the mouth!

Hey, self-love doesn't have to be that way!

Recently, I had a man come in who said he was feeling disconnected to masturbating. He went to a men's retreat and when a spontaneous circle jerk developed. He noticed that several of the men were easily touching, stroking and playing with their own cocks with such glee and pleasure. He felt so stifled and suppressed. He said he felt some shame creep up and it wasn't because he was surrounded by a group of grown, naked men masturbating. It was because he wasn't feeling pleasure touching himself. He mentioned that occasionally it feels like it is something that he does because the necessity to release sexual tension, and that's pretty much it!

We started to talk about his personal history with masturbation. It was something he discovered alone in his room as a young boy, it felt good but being the only boy in the household and living in a rural area he didn't have much information about what was going on in his body. His fear of parents or even his sister finding out that he was pleasuring himself brought up a lot of shame in his body. So, he ended up becoming a periodic masturbator. He only jacked off when it was out of necessity and when he did, it was quiet and with no movement. Constantly worrying of being caught or exposed, he never truly found pleasure in the act. This continued throughout his adulthood and even one time when a boyfriend asked if they could stroke in front of each other, he felt so uncomfortable that he lost his erection.

So, in my laboratory we started to do some exploring. I had him focus on his breath, if you can regulate your breath to get you into a relaxed or charged state it can work wonders. I really like doing a "belly breath" where you expand your belly out in the inhale and then bring the belly in upon the exhale. If you do it you will notice it is kind of same rhythm as fucking. Breath is important. If you notice yourself holding your breath while masturbating (unless you are into that, but thats another article) you are probably not allowing the sexual energy to flow in the body.

Secondly, I had him move a little. Who said you have to masturbate sitting down? Or even lying down? Stand up, move those hips around, roll around the floor, get on your knees. If you are laying down, buck those hips, gyrate on the bed. Movement is key, it also brings sensation into the body!

Sound: I find that the biggest thing people say when they are masturbating is they are quiet, no noise, no sound. Dare we wake Mommy or Daddy up? Well, some Daddies I know would love to catch their "son" wacking off in the next room. Go ahead and make some noise, scream, yell, sing, all that vibration can make the body feel exquisite!

The most important thing as well is to find out about technique, some men I have worked have so many unique ways of masturbating, grinding onto a pillow, not using lube, using a lot of lube, rubbing the cock together like sticks to using two fingers to two hands! If you are not using lubrication and you are rubbing your cock dry so that it hurts then maybe it's time to find out a new way to stroke.

I love using a stunt cock in my laboratory to show men how to stroke and all the different strokes they can do. There are so many cock strokes and movements you can practice for any length or girth of penis.

So, we typically get to the point where there is a practice round, the masturbation witnessing. This is a time in the session where a client can literally direct me where he would like me to sit in the room. It is his session, he makes the rules. He can get completely naked or keep his clothing on, he can even just put his hands down his pants if he feels he does not want to expose himself. The most important thing is that he feels safe and relaxed. I like to negotiate before the witnessing if he would like me to give him some suggestions during the session, or if he would like to be the one asking if he gets stuck or in his head. Sometimes a man would just rather talk about it all after the practice round is over.

It is a liberating process and I have seen many men learn so much more new things about their own personal expression around masturbation. I remind them all that masturbating is about self-love. If you do not know how to make love to yourself, how the hell are you going to do it for others?

Want to know about Masturbation Coaching, Witnessing or Cock techniques?

Check out my JoJo Bear at www.metamophicembodiment.com

#masturbation #sexuality #male #men #performance #breath