Do you remember cruising before the apps? I do!

Do you remember the olden days? When you had to step away from the television set on a Tuesday night, work was looming the next day, but you were horned up as hell and needed some relief? Those nights where you had to give yourself a bird-bath and throw on your "butch" gear and trek on down to the local arcade, park or cruisy area? It took a lot of effort, time and distance for some, but was it worth it? Some say yes. I certainly had fun.

Now fast forward to the present, everyone has a smart phone, laptop and tablet and can download apps on so they can cruise multiple men in real time. The pro's to having a portable cruising device is that you can connect literally anywhere, connect in places that you would normally not have even considered before, its a game changer. But then the downside is that one has to deal with literally men who don't really want to hook up or even connect, but have a conversation while they are at work or on the crapper. Its become this way for men to just chat with each other and not go anywhere, there is a balance that is happening that is not equal.

Let me explain.

When you actually go out and cruise you are using your whole body, you are physically in action. Whether its walking down an alley, hiking to the nude beach or just doing the runway at the local bathhouse. You are in motion, there is an endorphin release that is happening, so therefore you are using the whole body as a tool to enhance the pleasure.

And you are actually physically in close proximity to other men, its social interaction, in the flesh. Whether its the long glance, the 5 second turn as you walk down the street, the acknowledging smile. It activates arousal and makes the body feel good.

Plus its fun. The whole art of checking someone out and admiring the features and just exploring them visually, all the senses become alive, its electric. It is an practice that used to be part of the hunt, it was the seduction of flirting, sometimes even really subtle that allowed desire to grow.

I remember when I was coming out as a teenager in Brooklyn, New York. I would go with several of my other teenage friends to some of the local cruising area, strength in numbers I say, although you may get cock blocked by one of them. I used to love the hunt of being cruised and cruising and then maybe having the opportunity to single out one man that was on the top of my bucket list. There was this magic that happened if we both were in mutual attraction. The staring at each other, each longing glance lengthier than the last. Then one of us would break, one of us would end up going over to the other. I have always been a little more brazen in this art form, plus the fact for my intense attraction to shy men. The talk would happen, in cruising anything is possible. The conversation could be about each others features or about something even more sexy, but it was happening in real time, in the flesh. The excitement and anticipation was building right in front of each other.

This could lead to many different scenarios, depending on the place. I used to haunt a little car park area off the side of the Brooklyn Queens Expressway we dubbed "the roadside" and sometimes the cruise would end up in the bushes with both our pants down to our ankles or we went off to his place (before his wife came home). But there was always this freedom and excitement that came from the frivolous play that came with cruising.

Now typically cruising has dumbed down, so many men are literally walking with their iphones down the street or on the subway checking out Growlr, Scruff or Grindr that they never see you in the flesh 2 feet away. The social real life connection has been blurred, the art form of cruising has been taken over by an quick instant gratification of cruising multiple men at once and being able to see everything about them in an instant! Maybe there is an argument that this provides us more information to wade out the freaks, but there is something to say when you can actually physically check someone out in the flesh and your stories can unfold in an organic way.

Recently, I was in New York City and was walking in Chelsea, I mindfully put my phone in my pocket to be in full awareness in my surroundings and as I walked down 8th Avenue this real attractive man walked by me, we both did the glance. (the long stare) and then as we passed each other. I counted to 5, then turned around, he turned around too. I stopped in my tracks, leaned up against a building and guess what?

He came over to me. His first sentence to me, "God, I haven't been cruised in a long time!" I smiled. I said to him "Its nice right?" So me and this 50 year old bearded architect and I had literally a 30 minute conversation on the corner of 23rd and 8th avenue. In between a lot of flirting and getting to know each other we made a connection. Our schedules didn't work out perfectly so we never go to romp in the hay, but for me it was more than that, it was the physical interaction with someone that we all need these days of being lost in the smart phone in our hands.

So go out and shove that smart device in your man bag and get to practicing cruising. You may be grateful you did!

Want to chat about cruising or how to pick men up?

Contact JoJo Bear at www.metamorphicembodiment.com

#cruising #oldschool #gay #bookstores #arcades #bushes #men