What happened when I cuddled with a straight man!

Yes, I cuddled with a heterosexual man (more than once!)

So I am a 43 year old gay man who is not afraid of cuddling, actually, I quite enjoy it with the right person, but in my journey it has been mostly with other gay men.

So, a couple of months back I attended a week long retreat with a group of people (men and women) and to my knowledge the only gay people in the group was me and the facilitator, he had a job to do so I kind of felt like the token "gay" of the group, but I mingled and connected with others. It wasn't until I connected with one of 5 other men of the group, a heterosexual man. Lets call him "Huey".

Huey and I ended up cuddling in my bed one evening after our daily activities, it kind of happened organically, considering we were at a retreat that was touch based and the foundation was basically, cuddling! It felt like such a deep connection with Huey, he is a solid guy, tall, and physically attractive to me, but most of all he was allowing me to be close to him in such a sensual way. We talked, changed positions many times, ruminated about life and even stood in silence. Several times I became aroused, but did not act on it, I just let the erection come and go. There were still parts of me that felt a little concerned to do or say anything about it. As we began, the end was very organic, we both had to go to sleep, he went to his room and my mind spun for a bit. Part of me did not want to let go, yet another part of me was feeling a little concerned.

The next day my mind was on overdrive. I was feeling a lot of emotions. I tried as much as I can to not overthink our cuddling fest the night before. We ended up having a long conversation during an break from our workshop activities. Huey mentioned that he had some feelings of awkwardness and even some homophobic thoughts, mostly about his personal judgments brought up by his middle American upbringings. I felt a little hurt, but then realized that he was telling me his truth. He has learned, just like the rest of us that men do not show affection to each other, especially cuddling, and that men automatically have to use the "gay" word to define affection towards other men.

We cuddled the next evening, it was easier then, I got to just allow myself to drop in and really enjoy the moment. In some ways I felt safe with Huey, to be able to cuddle and nuzzle into his chest and neck, but to have the clear boundary in my head that sex was not on the menu. It was just exploration, no different than going to an all male puppy pile. That i could sit with the feelings of arousal and not have to put a story to it.

Since then we have had another cuddle session with each other, it feels comforting yet sensual. I can be close to this man and feel this brotherly or even paternal connection with him and just drop into my sensations and not have to define it. I really enjoy how vulnerable and honest we can be with each other when we are dropped into that space, the connection is so intimate and transparent, it makes me think why can't we all have time to cuddle with one another? Its connection. Its love.

Ever cuddle with a heterosexual man and it not be about sex?

Want to learn more about cuddling?

Then visit JoJo "Bear" DeRodrigo at www.metamorphicembodiment.com

#Cuddling #straightman #gay #affection #society